|
|
Post by ivy on Jan 10, 2010 5:32:25 GMT
Ivy sat down at a table. She was lost in her thoughts the last couple of days and hadn't spoken to anyone. The loneliness was starting to get to her. She watched as people passed by, hoping that someone would sit next to her. She looked back down at plate and took a small bite out of her sandwich. She wondered how anyone could work up an appetite not knowing what was happening on the outside, was the war over? Was the Tech still being used? Or was everyone dead? These were the questions that filled her head. Thinking about it made her made her want to cry, she wanted more than anything for things to go back the way they used to be but that didn't seem very likely. She put the sandwich down and wiped her eyes that were starting to get teary.
She saw a couple of actives talking; she couldn't hear what they were saying, they were too far away. She wanted to go over there to talk to them. She needed to talk to someone but wondered if anyone wanted to talk to her. She had always been worried that people might hate her for the small part she played in the apocalypse. Imprinting dolls seemed so harmless to Ivy when she started working at the dollhouse; she never thought it could go this wrong. She looked back down at the sandwich and forced herself to eat. For almost a year now she had been trying to come up with ideas on how to block the remote wipes but had nothing, all her plans failed and she had to start over again. The work seemed pointless but she had to try, she liked helping.
|
|
|
|
Post by TOPHER BRINK on Jan 13, 2010 0:06:45 GMT
just the other somebody said to me hey maybe your just slightly schizophrenic and just a little out of reach my friend [/size] [/color][/center] Topher wasn't hungry. He never was these days. He was far too busy trying to figure thigns out but at the moment he felt like his brain was melt and his stomach was twinging. Cravings, he knew well were not from the stomach but the brain. It was psychological but he was pretty sure that twinge was ignored hunger so he better stuff something, anything down his throat rather than let his stomach remain empty and churning nothing but acid while it replace the mucus. Well that was a good way to put you off any form of food around. Topher wandered into the kitchen area. He had showered, cleaned up, stared endlessly as a sheet of paper full of equations - endless notebooks really - and couldn't conclude anything other than whatever signal he was looking for just wasn't there. His mind kept wandering to Ellie which was painful enough without him glancing obsessively at Saunders' office like some kind of stalker. He needed to forget. He needed to let it go. It was no use now. Everyone thought it was just guilt. Just guilt over the apocolypse that was driving him crazy. It wasn't. It was quite a few things. Most of them were related actually but a few things it was. "Ivy babe. Salt water is not an appropriate form of nutrition," And that was coming from the guy that was basically starving himself. Meh. He deserved it Ivy didn't. She probably thought she did. A lot of people assumed they knew. They didn't. What ddi they really know about Topher brink? No one actually spoke to him unless it was about Actives and Imprints and other such related topics. They all wanted some piece of useful information out of him. It ws partly why he was so difficult. Topher sat down with some food before him and began eating. i said that's yes that's partly true but jokes aside I can explain it's just my way of keeping track with living on this planet [/size] How did it come to this? How did it ever come to this?[/size][/color][/center] (LYRIC CLAIM: HOW DID IT COME TO THIS? THE CIRCUS: TAKE THAT) |
|
QUEBEC
ACTIVE
andrew ashford
Posts: 19
|
Post by QUEBEC on Jan 13, 2010 3:21:57 GMT
Quebec had come to a decision, which was very rare for him and he was a little worried it was the wrong decision. But since he'd managed to make one, he wasn't willing to back down from it now. Besides, Juliet had sort of led him to it.
He went running first, letting that ease his mind into thinking absolutely nothing for roughly half an hour. He was calm, if a little sweaty, when he was done and he went to take a shower. A couple others were in the shower room, but of course Quebec was barely aware of them.
When he was (mostly) dried off, he re-dressed and went to get something to eat, taking a bowl of soup with a soft 'thank you' to the staff member who offered it.
He turned around, pleasantly surprised (surprise was sort of a new thing, too; generally he was used to just letting things come and go without reacting to them, but surprise had started to creep in lately) to see two of the people he had been hoping he might be able to talk to.
Quebec walked over to them bravely, setting his bowl of soup down at the same table Ivy was sitting at.
"Hello, Ivy," He said calmly. "Hello, Topher." he looked from one to the other slowly, with a smile on his face that was pleasant, if not-quite-empty.
"I was hoping I might speak with you."
One of them, anyway, although hopefully both. He wasn't sure if Ivy would be able to answer the second set of questions.
|
|
|
|
Post by ivy on Jan 14, 2010 6:25:33 GMT
Ivy looked up at Topher. She was happy to see someone. "Hey, Topher" she said. She looked down at her barely eaten sandwich. "I haven't been hungry lately." She wasn't trying to starve herself but it had been hard for her to eat in a time like this, she had been eating small snacks for the past week that weren't very filling and hadn't had the time to sit down and have large meals.
She looked over at Quebec as he sat down at the table, happy to see another face. "Hello, Quebec" she said with a smile. "What would you like to talk about?" She wasn't sure if he has asking to speak to Topher or her, Ivy knew a lot about the Tech and the programming but nowhere near as much as Topher did. She was smart but he was a genius. Still she wondered if she would be able to help.
|
|
|
|
Post by TOPHER BRINK on Jan 15, 2010 1:18:58 GMT
just the other somebody said to me hey maybe your just slightly schizophrenic and just a little out of reach my friend [/size] [/color][/center] "I haven't been hungry lately.""Girl's still gotta eat Ivy. What if they need tech assist whilst I'm otherwise engaged? Lack of neutrition lowers brain activity. Your small electrical impulses move slower and it's all not good. Not good at all Ivy babe," Topher gave his customary laugh. He wanted her well. It may be patronizing but Topher never had been good at expressing his feelings or what he meant. At least not after the Dollhouse employ. Feelings were a weakness, a vulnerability that no one afford. He had learned this. Topher could be obstinate, obvious and stubborn but some things really did get through to him. You had to be direct with Topher. He didn't get subtle. It mostly just passed him by. Ivy tended to hint, which was why she kept having to repeat questions. Straight and to the point was best - but not on the nose. There's a way of saying it obviously without being mean about it you know. "Quebec. You look refreshed. How has your day been?" Topher said slipping into 'Active Mode'. he had a soft voice but he knew he could be loud and boisterous and Actives liked peace and calm...generally. It was an automatic response now. He couldn't help it when it came to actives with semi self wareness. The others like Juliet, or Echo - both different but the same - he'd speak normally too, if not a teeny bit toned down when conscious of it. Sound travelled well here, it was loud in the large space. Topher tended not to like that. "You are welcome to Sit Quebec," Topher said, offering him a chair. i said that's yes that's partly true but jokes aside I can explain it's just my way of keeping track with living on this planet [/size][/color] How did it come to this? How did it ever come to this?[/size][/color][/center] |
|
QUEBEC
ACTIVE
andrew ashford
Posts: 19
|
Post by QUEBEC on Jan 15, 2010 1:48:36 GMT
"Your sandwich looks very good, Ivy," Quebec said.
He did not know as much about her as he thought he knew about Topher. Ivy was quiet, and often pushing buttons or looking at papers while Topher was the smiling face they came out of the chair to see first.
Quebec fought back the urge to relax immediately into the soft calm of Topher's voice. He knew that voice; it was the voice that was always used when people spoke to him. So far, it was only Juliet that didn't, and even she had lapsed into it once or twice.
"My day has been fine, thank you, Topher. I hope your day has been fine as well."
He could not quite help the physical response; his shoulders relaxed. It was nice; that voice was half the reason the Actives stayed calm; if no one raised their voice or spoke too quickly or too sharply, that meant things were fine. Everything was all right. But Quebec knew better than that by now.
He looked from Topher to Ivy, and decided to start with her, fiddling with the spoon he had between his hands.
"I have a question about the chair."
Just considering it for a long time made his stomach flip-flop around and his heart begin to beat faster. Dolls may be programmed to 'enjoy their treatments', but once you began to be aware of what it felt like when they wrote your brain and erased it again, that programming could not hold against reality.
If he had ever mentioned that he was retaining memory, that he was aware of it, they probably would have stopped using him. But at the time, Quebec had been too aware of the idea of the Attic from eavesdropping and whispers among the staff to want anyone to know he was malfunctioning, that he might be broken. As far as anyone knew, he was only around because his original personality couldn't take the heat and Ms. DeWitt had not been willing to put up with a tantrum.
"I am... I am not my best, I don't think," he said, starting slowly. "The others who have gotten themselves back can read, but I cannot. I would like to know if the chair can teach me to read, without... without putting another man I don't know in my head. Can the chair do that? Teach me to read?"
|
|
|
|
Post by ivy on Jan 15, 2010 8:36:39 GMT
"Girl's still gotta eat Ivy. What if they need tech assist whilst I'm otherwise engaged? Lack of neutrition lowers brain activity. Your small electrical impulses move slower and it's all not good. Not good at all Ivy babe,"
"Sorry, Topher. I'll feed my brain more often." She said and took another bite out of her sandwich. She didn't want to worry Topher about her lack of eating, he had enough to worry about and she wanted her brain to be ready in case someone needed her help.
"I am... I am not my best, I don't think," he said, starting slowly. "The others who have gotten themselves back can read, but I cannot. I would like to know if the chair can teach me to read, without... without putting another man I don't know in my head. Can the chair do that? Teach me to read?"
Ivy felt sorry for Quebec. She was pretty sure that Topher would know how to give Quebec the ability to read but didn't know if Ms. DeWitt would let them give an active more skills in there doll state. "The chair might be able to help you with that." She looked at Topher not sure what to say, She wasn't good at speaking to actives.
|
|
|
|
Post by TOPHER BRINK on Jan 23, 2010 18:44:45 GMT
"Sorry, Topher. I'll feed my brain more often."
Ivy had never been baulchy or full of gung ho but this seemed a little meek to him. It was his fault. It was always his fault. He was the Programmer he should have known better. He shouldn't have been so bloody curious. Why couldn't he let things be? why did he never learn? But the truth seemed to too unreal to him so he had to make concrete evidence. After showing Adelle why didn't he burn it? Why didn't he shred it and burn it? Why did he feel the need to teel anyone? What exactly did he expect? Topher didn't know. There was so many questions, so many that pointed towards his idiocy. His brain didn't work well with abstracts. Topher could work on his computer making personalities because he could see it all fit together like a complex and beautiful puzzle. But that? Topher required a vision. Stupid stupid Topher. "Won't be any help to anyone if you're starving Ivy. Good brain food here. Fish see?" Topher indicated. It was rather pathetic really. He didn't eat unless forced to most of the time but he had more important things to consider. Like trying to save the dregs of humanity that was left sifting about the world.
"The others who have gotten themselves back can read, but I cannot. I would like to know if the chair can teach me to read, without... without putting another man I don't know in my head. Can the chair do that? Teach me to read?"
Topher had once explained to Boyde why Actives didn't have Ninja Skills. The death, screaming, the blood was all to chaotic and they had to replace everyone. They were only trying to protect the Actives though it backfired. Ellie would ahve said they were being careless, clever, arrogant. Topher just didn't like his toys hurt and if the dolls, if those empty people could at least have a chance of defending themselves then why not? The ends though, wasn't pretty. Sometimes Topher still dreamed about it. he'd wake up convinced he was covered in blood, only now it'd merge with Nolan Kinnard and he'd spend most of the time dismembering and draining actives of fluid. Topher was entirely sure that on those days he never looked cleaner. Ninja skills didn't work but a slight dose of self-awareness ahd allowed previously empty people, who's original owners wished to permanently vacate the premises to live, to start fresh. Quebec was perpetually happy. He was quite light to be around. It was nice.
"You could always learn the way everyone else did. You're a person now but if you don't have the patience I can fix you up with almost anything you like," Topher replied. It was entirely his choice now. Topher wouldn't be making any for him beyond the imprinting of originals into their own bodies. But some didn't want to stay so it was Quebec's now. Perhaps one day Quebec would want a different name but how many people did that? Identity was a large part of humanity. And it was more important than ever. Still, once quebec learns his name is simply part of the phonetic alphabet perhaps he wouldn't be so keen on it. Who knows? It's all very personal anyway.
"You are welcome to join us," He added. It felt strange with him just standing there while Topher forced food down his neck while Ivy sat and attempted not to.
|
|
QUEBEC
ACTIVE
andrew ashford
Posts: 19
|
Post by QUEBEC on Jan 26, 2010 1:21:22 GMT
"The patience?"
Quebec sat down, considering this for a moment. That was something he hadn't really considered deeply; learning to read the manual way. Not having knowledge dropped into his head but acquiring it like they did, like real people did, through work. Through time.
He had only the barest sense of time. He understood that it passed, and he remembered, since seeing the sun, each day as its own. But that still hadn't given him all that much true life of his own to be living. And not when he'd still gone out, someone else supplanting him in his mind, to be someone's boyfriend for the night. For three days. For a month, once.
"Maybe I will try to learn the real way," Quebec said finally.
He watched Ivy's face, vaguely aware that it was uneasy, that there was some sadness there he did not quite grasp. It was too complicated. But that was what he wanted to be...
"Don't be sad, Ivy," He said softly, with absolute sincerity. "If you eat, things will seem better. Things are always better when you are full and not sad with wanting fish."
He gave her a soft smile.
"I am not a person yet," He said to Topher, toying with his food. "I am not my best. I am not complicated."
That reminded him of all the other odd things he had going through his mind just now, and he looked up, first at Ivy, then at Topher, thinking of which one it would make more sense to ask.
"There is something I do not understand. I thought you might, both of you, understand. You understand the chairs, you understand what is in our minds, right?"
|
|
|
|
Post by TOPHER BRINK on Feb 8, 2010 1:31:09 GMT
"The patience?"
"Just, patience. It's a virtue," Topher said with his nervous giggle. This wasn't going to make any sense to an Active. Half Active. Half Actual. An Actual Active? Or an Active Actual? Who knew which one was best? It was exactly important right? Topher knew he'd be thinking about it for days now. It'd come out during one of his 'episodes', or one of his 'bad days' as he knew Adelle liked to call them. He knew more than they thought. He wasn't entirely gone but...he just knew. He remembered when he came back...to reality...to himself. It wasn't like he didn't know what they said around him. At the time Topher just didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to know and sometimes he truly didn't understand. He simplified himself down so he did not have to deal with all of this. Guilt wasn't something he was used to carrying. Someone should have told him that it wasn't very nice...oh wait...he did. He told himself long ago. When Ellie.... Topher's eyes grew sad. He didn't want to think of Ellie, her body not that far away, hiding in the dark he hated so much. The Dollhouse was a metaphor for the dark. It was ironic. Topher had hardly ever left this metaphor since had joined. Perhaps he should have forced himself to go out more.
"Maybe I will try to learn the real way,"
"You'll grow as a person. A real person. Learn for yourself, experience whatever you can," Topher offered. If Quebec wanted the chair then that was his choice. Topher wasn't going to dispute it. It was easy enough to add a skill without affecting the personality already there. He retained the architecture, which although was now apparantly not necessary was a good thing. Topher had no idea what would happen if you tried to add a skill to someone who didn't have the architecture. he was going to stick by his exploding head theory. Imploding. Perhaps it would explode. Implode then explode and then there'd be blood everywhere and over him and he'd have to rub convulsively until his skin wasn't red from blood but from irritance...let's leave the blood alone shall we?
"I am not my best. I am not complicated."
"Sometimes Uncomplicated is best Quebec. Complicated is...messy. It...hurts and it isn't all that nice. Sometimes it's best just to be simple. You're doing just fine," Topher replied. It was strange giving out advice to an Active. Echo had been the first he had considered a friend. Priya he had always liked. He had broken the rules for the Australian woman who had been abused by a vile loathsome cockroach. He wasn't sorry he was dead. He was sorry Priya had t obe the one to do it...and that he had to be the one to get rid of the evidence. That, had not been pretty physically, mentally or emotionally. Topher absently rubbed his face. Blood. Too much blood with this job. He didn't see that anywhere in his contract.
"There is something I do not understand. I thought you might, both of you, understand. You understand the chairs, you understand what is in our minds, right?"
"I'm the Genius, sure," Topher replied. Explaining it in terms that made sense to people who'd understand was always difficult for Topher but explaining it in a way an Active would? Impossible. Still he had to try. He was the one that wiped his mind of himself after all. though to be fair, said self wanted to keep those premises vacated. Quebec was happier this way.
|
|
