secret. admirer. vs. psychopathic. madman. CLAIRE

[ALPHA !]

Well now,

I think it's a shame you have quite forgotten about me. I mean, what kind of person does that to someone who has had such an impact on their life. Of course, I haven't really given any clues as to whether I knew you before you joined up with those apocalypse causing monsters, or after you had already joined their ranks. In fact, for all you know, I could be Topher. (And by stating Topher as an example doesn't mean I still couldn't be him.) However, I assume you will use your powers of deduction (as if one could really call them powers) to analyze that the handwriting that I am using must obviously belong to a man. Though I would disagree. I make for a very pretty girl. It would be a shame to see myself misconstrued as one of those gangly men-folk.

Anyway, you may not believe it, but I know things about you that you can't remember. I know what they took from you, and I can get it back for you. If you'll just listen, and won't judge.

Your Secret Admirer
xx

[CLAIRE SAUNDERS !]

who is this?

There are a limited number of options, and as you say, I am guessing you are male, but if this is some kind of joke--it's not funny. If this is your idea of a laugh, Topher Brink, I'll hate you more than I do already. I don't have any secret admirers, and there is nobody on the outside...who are you? I don't have time for games, there's too much to do.

I believe it. I don't want to know, though - I don't need to know. How do you know about

Alpha?

If you're Alpha, leave me alone. I don't wish to talk to you.

[ALPHA !]

Silly girl,

Topher Brink is a genius. Yes, my ego allows me to say that without taking any damage. Guess why? ... Your time has run out! I am Topher Brink! Ta-da! You see me bent over my worktable everyday, and well, guess what, I'm not actually mapping out brains, I'm writing you these letters. Don't ask me why though; I won't tell you. (That's a hint by the way.) Anyway, you should always have time for games Claire, or should I say, Whiskey, because the world is always in turmoil and there is always too much hard work to be done.

It's funny how you jump right to that name. And it's funny how you think once someone's done something bad, or in his case, a couple of bad things, they're incapable of change. But maybe he hasn't changed. I wouldn't know. Anyway, I guess if you really feel that strongly about it, I won't tell you what I know. It could help you, though. It might make you feel a little better. Or it might not. That depends on what you choose to do with the information.

Your Secret Admirer
xx

[CLAIRE SAUNDERS !]

i'm not as silly as you might think.

You're not Topher. You don't sound like him, for a start, and I know that he's been in a state of lunacy where he can't even string a sentence together, let alone write a coherent letter, for the past week. Besides, Topher wouldn't be my secret admirer; he hates me. If you were him, you'd know that.

I am not Whiskey. I am Claire Saunders. And it is precisely because the world is ending that I don't have time to play your guessing games. I don't need you playing with my mind. People have done that enough already. I suppose I should be grateful it's just mental torture, really. Are you sure you wouldn't like to come down here and show me your knife collection in person? You seemed to enjoy that so much last time.

You didn't deny it, though. I know who you are. I know you're still alive, I know you're out there and I know you're probably gaining the trust of those people who've survived thus far, only to go psycho on them and kill them all. It's in your head. You can't change who you are. Not even when you have multiple personalities. I don't believe you - he - has changed. I don't need to feel better, thank you. I appreciate your concern for my welfare. Now stop playing games with me and leave me alone.

i know who you are.

[ALPHA !]

Comrade,

Topher's a lunatic? Well I'll be, that's the silliest thing I've heard in a long time. I saw Topher just the other day. What a charmer! You'd never know he was off his game. Anyway, you might not know as much about Topher as I do, but we won't talk about that since you seem to think you hate me as much as Topher allegedly hates you. But no. No, no, I will not get bogged down in your silly, petty misconceptions about my identity. I think maybe you have me confused with someone else. I've never been an 'alpha.' I prefer to be lumped in with the beta males. After all, they're the ones who are better off. Betas get all the women, but if you're an alpha, you only get the ditzy, pretty women who aren't interesting at all. Don't judge me because I use stereotypes.

My apologies Claire Saunders. I'm glad you've moved away from one of your active names. It's just a pity you've accepted the other one as your everyday name. But then again, maybe you don't want to upset your patients. Well, the world is just going to keep falling apart if you don't play my guessing game. If that's really what you want to call it. I haven't said anything about it being a game. In fact, I take this very seriously. My knife collection? I guess you must mean my fountain pens. I haven't had the opportunity to really write with one in awhile. Are you sure this other person in question enjoyed it? That's sick.

Why should I deny it? It's not true. I don't really know how to respond to this. I'm hurt that you're confusing me with this obvious psychopath. Really, I'm not all that bad. Hell, I COOK. How crazy can you be if you cook? It's really very therapeutic. Everyone can change. I sincerely believe that. If you want change bad enough, you can get there. The right course of events and you can definitely change.

I told you already, I'm not playing games, and I really do hope you're doing all right.

Your Secret Admirer
xx

[CLAIRE SAUNDERS !]

alpha,

I am not your plaything. I know this is you; I've researched your personalities. All of them. This behaviour is typical of at least three. And I do hate you. I don't think that, I know it. There are a lot of things I know. Whatever you say about who I was, they don't change. I've had time to accept it, you see. There are scarier things in this world than you, now. The impending apocalypse, for example. You and your knives aren't enough anymore.

The fact that you know about that gives you away, you know. Other than you, everybody who knows about it is here, or wouldn't feel the need to hide behind 'comrade' and 'secret admirer'. I'm not playing your games. You've used us all as puppets, but not anymore. Not while you choose to hide behind flowery language and fine penmanship. They say the pen is mightier than the sword. Funny, since a pen can't slash your face open.

Oh, you're hurt? That's rich. Even psychopathic serial killers can enjoy cooking. A person can change. Someone with multiple personalities doesn't need to, because they can just switch to being a different person.

You hope I'm doing alright? Really? Oh, that's funny. I thought I'd missed out on a sense of humour somewhere along the line, but that's funny.

[ALPHA !]

Pal,

Oh, come now, anyone could be Alpha. That's the problem with his having so many personalities. He's able to be so many people, how are you ever really supposed to know whether he's Alpha, or someone completely harmless. So, even though you say you never want to see Alpha again, you admit that he's not the worst thing that could happen. What if he could actually help with the apocalypse issue? Or what if he could even show you a way to survive. I don't think you realize what you're passing up. Not that I really care of course. I just wanted to know if you were all right.

I've used you all as puppets? What about the Dollhouse? What about what they did to you? Seriously.

What, and they can't develop a new personality?

I really do hope you're doing all right.

Your Secret Admirer
xx